DUNCAN AND KATE'S BIRTH STORY
Martha's due date came and went on Sunday, 3 October. When I saw our midwife the following day we agreed that we would leave things a further week before thinking about helping her along. But Martha must have heard us as that evening the Braxton Hicks began! Things didn't really get going until Wednesday when the tightenings were strong enough that I didn't feel comfortable driving Reuben, our three year old, to pre-school. The surges became stronger on Thursday and were at times five minutes apart. Our midwife came at the end of the day and examined me. I had only dilated 2cm and it turned out that Martha's head was not in a good position. Instead of her chin being tucked under, her head was twisted back. Martha's head needed to be in a better position before the contractions would be effective.
Overnight my waters broke (or at least at it turned out some of them) but Friday brought no change. I felt like I was having to work to bring on the contractions by going out for walks and actively trying to make them happen. All of this was becoming very tiring and I felt that the difficult birth I had experienced with my son was beginning to play out again. So we rang our midwife and asked if she would come to see us. I needed to know if Martha had moved at all. Unfortunately because my waters had broken the midwife was unable to examine me to assess whether progress had been made. I was advised that hospital policy recommended that if there was no progress within 24 hours of waters breaking then I needed to go in to hospital to be put on an antibiotic drip due to the risk of infection. The midwife also thought that some time on a syntocinon drip might increase the strength of my contractions enough to move Martha into a better position. So we agreed to meet the midwife at the hospital at 8.30am on Saturday morning and, having wanted a home birth, we tried to reconcile ourselves to another hospital birth and possibly a C-section.
But I had one last thing to try... so I made a phonecall to my lovely yoga teacher. Having explained the situation, without hesitation she told me to kneel on the sofa with my head on the floor so that I was essentially upside down and to stay like that for 10 minutes and three contractions, the theory being that this would give Martha a chance to move backwards out of the awkward position she was in and hopefully re-engage in the right place. Having followed this advice the contractions picked up almost immediately and before long they were coming hard and fast. At this stage Duncan settled me into our bed. I was propped up with lots of pillows, a hot water bottle under each leg and the TENS machine also on each leg! I then used the HypnoBirthing breathing techniques to work through the contractions, using in particular a deepening technique that enabled me to remain as still and relaxed as possible during the surges. I retreated into a sleep like state in between each one. I wanted to remain as relaxed as possible to allow Martha the space to move and it seemed to be working - my stomach was shifting all over the place!
Eventually I was unable to lie down any longer and needed to be upright. The surges were coming every two or three minutes and I was totally reliant on Duncan to help me manage them. We rang the midwife to let her know that things were really happening. A call I'm sure she wasn't expecting to receive that Friday evening! She said it all sounded good and to ring when I felt I needed her. I spent time on the birthing ball and during the contractions I instinctively started to make some of the sounds I'd been taught in yoga which seemed to help move things more as I lost a lot more water during this time and I really began to feel the urge to push down.
Not long after our first call we rang our midwife again and Duncan started to fill the birthing pool. Half an hour later the midwife arrived. She examined me and I was already 7cm dilated! So I sank into the pool with great relief and began to use the wonderful gas and air. With Duncan's help I worked through each surge and I was almost oblivious to the fact that Martha was crowning and was delighted, if rather surprised, to learn that Martha's head had emerged. The rest of her followed quickly, and an hour and half after the midwife had arrived Martha swam her way into the world. The second midwife didn't make it in time! I stayed in the pool for a while cuddling Martha until the cord stopped pulsing. I was able to have a natural third stage as well before snuggling up with Martha on our sofa for her first feed.
Three hours later we were all tucked up in our own beds. And on Saturday morning I was sat in bed reading the newspaper with Martha asleep in the Moses basket instead of being in hospital. We had the amazing home birth that we had hoped for and a lot of it was due to three fantastic ladies - our yoga teacher, Lisa and our midwife. Without yoga, HypnoBirthing and a calm, supportive midwife I am sure it would have been a different experience. So I wanted to say a big thank you to you all for helping to turn Martha's birth around (quite literally!).
A short postscript from a generally sceptical father.
I am writing this because I know that there are people who may be put off HypnoBirthing because some of the claims made sound a little too good to be true. I consider myself to be about as rational a person as you'll find. I am usually not one to embrace the 'alternative' approach and when Kate first suggested doing the HypnoBirthing I was privately sceptical. I am nothing if not a supportive husband though and dutifully accompanied Kate to Lisa's classes, read the book and did the practice. I had previously read a bit about hypnosis and so was aware of the power of relaxation and suggestion. I was hugely relieved on attending the course that the key central elements of HypnoBirthing are clear and rational and not dressed up in mumbo-jumbo save for a little bit of Noel Edmonds style cosmic ordering which you can choose to ignore.
I think there are three key benefits that we got out of the process. Firstly, the deep relaxation techniques that we learnt and practised gave Kate a great tool not so much to control the pain she felt but to control her reaction to it. There was no panic and no fear throughout the birth. Even when we thought that our chance of a home birth had gone again Kate managed to remain focused and positive. Secondly, the HypnoBirthing approach gave us positive things to try throughout the labour. This was important psychologically especially when things weren't going to plan. Finally, attending the course and doing the practise together meant that I was totally involved. It gave me the confidence to know what I could do to help and when.
Martha's birth was the most extraordinary and exhilarating experience. I am so proud of Kate for the way she coped throughout the birth and delighted to have been able to actively support her through it. We now have a gorgeous baby daughter, some amazing memories to look back on and only one small stain on the living room carpet.
